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If ur on this page LOOK OUT ur about to get the tongue lashing of a life time! cudnt find pictures so ive found pictures of things that bare a more than passing resemblance 2 u. in a way ive kept ur identities undisclosed by doing this coz i cant afford pixalation. some of ur crimes are so shocking i need to change ur names- so if ur on ere, you'll know! sending of hatemail is optional, sarky repraisle guarenteed.
Name: Jan
Age: 52
Previous convictions: *fraud*- she pretended that she woz gonna keep a pony who i absolutly fell in love with and havnt found another who compares even slightly as much!
*peverting the course of justice*- after commiting fraud, the defendant then went on 2 spread some shit around about me. this was my first experience of being spat out of a verbal slurry spreader.
*Infidility*- the defendant next went on to leaving her 3rd hubby 2 then come out as gay & promptly ran off with a riding instructor 2take some lessons no doubt.
current status: at large. information of her wherabouts would be greatly appreciated. she must be approached with caution.
3"0
Name: Gaynor AKA straightner (oh the irony)
Age: 23
Previous convictions:
*Peverting the course of justice*- another verbal slurry machine with partner in crime jan. pretended to be a shoulder to cry on for various people; i wasnt taken in by it and as a result got shit on anyway... do i have a sign with 'WC' on my head or sumthin?
*infidility*- dumped the married bloke she was having an affair with 4 jan the bent dinnerlady.
current status: at large (quite litrally)
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5"0
5"0
4"0
Brick Shit House
4"0
3"0
3"0
2"0
Name: AKA easy rider
Age: 17 (could have fooled me)
Previous convinctions:
*Burgalry*- just ask erika LOL!
*Treason*- Ask whitehall LOL fuck u all bar Denise n Em
*Peverting the course of justice*- made me out to be the bad wolf, when she woz the 1 nickin stuff & spreadin shit... n yet the silly fuckers at Spite-fall, believed her ova me!
*Being an unfit & improper person*- often seen in her natural habitat (the pub, pick a pub, any pub) falling out absolutly legless (& dignityless), shagged sum guy in her tackroom (surely u can be arrested 4 taking advantage of the visualy impared?), spreadin shit etc etc etc
Current status: out on a, erm, rather large bail i should think, after being arrested 4 burgalry.
Name: pinnochio
Age: 14 (she would beg 2 differ)
Previous convictions:
*peverting the course of justice*- The worlds best/worst liar make your own mind up. from winning the 1ft6 sj at alps park to winning the nobel prize, theres nothing this girl hasnt won...honest.
*Treason*- manipulated sophie, hu had a personality change when she woz around by playing the role of precocious stage scool drop out perfectly.
*underage and drink driving*- "remember when we were drunk driving in ur car, speed so fast was like i was drunk!" all ok unless ur 14!
*theft*- nickt my riding hats & put them in the burny bin! didnt go as planned, but hey, the thought woz there.
Current status: she's alive n well im sad 2 say.
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5"0
5"0
4"0
4"0
3"0
3"0
Name: Liz
Age: 40
Previous convictions:
*Accepting False evidence*- believd i punched her horse in the face; i may aswell have, if i knew it would get me away from whitehall at the speed it did! christi, we were out of there faster than linford!
*failing to apologise on the grounds of damaged pride*- didnt apologise to me after the accusastions tested negative. nice to see her sqwirm.
*Being bad at maths*- she put 2 & 2 together & made 73.
Current status: licking her wounds & Gareths arse @ whitehall.
Name: playground
Age: 45
Previous convictions:
*peverting the course of justice*- tried to put me off...EVERYTHING!!
*Vandalism*- she tore down all our slogans in 'the art gallery' with such compassion it scares me.
*Indecent exposure*- wears miniscule vests so her tits fall out everywhere when the kids dads are around. frequently trips herself up with them.
*TOMestic violence*- My mate Tom Thumb booted her one so she booted him back and drew complaints from the parents lmao!! that stopped her being so 'cocky' >titters at own witisism<
*Breaching of restraining order*- was ordered not to shout 'you wanna playgraaaand, u go to a playgraaaand!' for 6months. she lasted 6 seconds.
Current Status: still teaching kids going round in circles on a saturday.
