Stay Signed In
Do you want to access your site more quickly on this computer? Check this box, and your username and password will be remembered for two weeks. Click logout to turn this off.
Stay Safe
Do not check this box if you are using a public computer. You don't want anyone seeing your personal info or messing with your site.
nothin excitin on ere- just notes 4 me 2 refer 2 n stuff 2 go bak on, eg. stuff i avnt taken th piss out of, ow certain gags shud b written etc etc etc. its on ere 4 easy access cz it cnt b deleted wivout my say so
GOLDEN RULE
dont use puns lyk u use punctuation unless its an easy subject n uv analysd ur subject insideout, outsidein, up, down n round- it gets borin (see MAKES for xampl of wen pun overload can b applied well). v hard dnt attempt unless on form
pun itself musnt be 2 drawn out or recieva becmz bored b4 u get 2 it- this is important particularly if pun needs a clever mind 2actualy realise its ther othawise u look lyk a twat. in short GET TO THE POINT
impact of sarcasm much more if use of long drawn out words is applyd. eg intresting becomes ELABORAT, downhil becomes STEEP INCLINE, house becomes DWELLING etc etc etc
no wot ur talkin about n make clear tht u cn c BOTH sides of th argumnt thn argu ur point bak- this way ur nt gna gt cnfrunted wiv ppl arguin wiv their own points cz u avnt cnsiderd thers
DNT say th obvious, ur jus sayin wt evry1s thinkin. dig deep n find smthin u no nobody else is gna fink of- thts y th best 1 liners r th best. nt 2 deep tho, or else it wnt b funny 2 ne1 bar u
dnt use sumbody elses line. particularly if its a catchphrase or 1 that alot of people have herd off th origional source. ul look cheap & unorigional- plus its irritatin 4 th person hu origionly sed th line. if rele haf 2 nik it augament it byond recognition
use difrent puns but keep certain keywords/points 2 broaden ur choice eg th key points here r martin kemp & th pl8 in his skull
Martin Kemp has a plate in his skull. i take it kyli minogues 'cant get u out of my head' will be played at his funeral.
Martin Kemp recently admited he's a kylie fan. apparently his favourite song is 'cant get u out of my head'.
Martin Kemp recently left a greek restraunt after hearing it was 'true' that it was a tradition 4 plates 2 be smashed.
dnt run on anger alone without bein naturally funny. it just makes u come cross as bein arrogant rather than str8 2 the point.
USE SPELLCHECK!! it sounds odd, but if ur on th computer or writing, please spell check. it can b so easy 4 a pun 2 b ruind by a simpl typin error. eg; cramp-crap, shift-shit, baboon-bafoon
dnt botha tryin ne puns/gags/wittisisms/jokes unless ur in th mood- othawise its just not funny. wait til ur feelin on th ball.
use stereo types. old ladies moan, blondes r thick (i agree- fuck sunsilk frizz control, my hair needs a str8 jacket its so big), chavz wear bling, accountants r notorious 4 bein abrupt- it not hard!! pick sm1 in th street n take th piss out of thm (wetha u do this outloud or nt depends on how fast u cn run away). i call this 'target practice'
be th recieva- u wdnt find sumthin funny if it wasnt, so y shud ne1 else?
adapt ur punchline 2 adapt 2 th person ur talkin 2. ie,
"u have my permission 2 go ahead the EUs pledge 2 go green- ive got tickets 2 c Russell brand!"
u wdnt say that 2 sm1 hu didnt lyk russell brand so dnt say it 4 th sake of sayin it!
Back To Home Page
