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Now a little birdy told me that your a creative lot- well you must be if your on this site coz need imagination- so i thought you'd appreciate a make 'n' do page! now i'm not very good in the creative department, bein a bit cack handed, so, i roped in my bestest best m8 Ellie to give you all a hand! we've come up with 2 ideas 2 keep you busy if, like us, your stuck at your 93yo relatives house on a rainy sunday afternoon! so here's some we made earlier... sorry, had 2 say it.
Idea 1: How 2 make a piece of MDF look attractive!
4 this make u will need:
Piece of MDF
Wrapping/wall paper
Scissors
Sticky backed plastic
An adult 2 help u
Step 3: Cut your wrapping paper so that it is about 6 inches between the MDF and the edge of the paper. you may need an adult 2 help you with this.
Step 2: grab some festive wrapping paper and decide which you think is appropriate. ie, if its 4 some1s birthday adorn it in birthday paper, or if its xmas a santa design! we opted 4 some santa wrapping paper as it woz Christmas- sorry 2 any muslims i may have offended there by saying the 'c' word.
Step 1: find a boring piece of MDF that looks rather sorry for itself just hanging around in the attic 4 no particular reason. make sure it is splinter free- if in doubt, grab your nearest nail file and start sanding!
Step 5: fold over the edges of the wrapping paper and stick them down neatly using your sticky backed plasic. be careful not 2 rip anything as this will spoil the illusion that you took real care over jazzing up the MDF and you may hurt its feelings.
Step 4: Check that your measurments are indeed correct by placing your MDF on top of the wrapping paper you have cut, on a hard, flat, even surface. something not like the bed we used here.
Step 6: VOILA!! Your old & boring piece of MDF is now the best dressed piece of wood in town! its up 2 you wot you do with it- its best purpous is 2 give it 2 some1 you don't like, coz it looks like a present, and when they unwrap it its just a plain piece of wood! if you plan on doing this PLEASE clear off before the reciever of your gift has opened it, i get enuff complaints as it is without you lot complainin that your now ex best m8 found another purpous 4 it and decked you 1 with it! or like us, you can carry a fibre optic village around the house on it.
Idea 2: How To Decorate a Christmas tree!
4 this make you will need:
1 tree
Baubles
Fairy lights
1 angel/star
other random things used in the yule tide tackfest.
(just 2 upset any 'equal oppurtunitys'/alquieda extremists out there)
Step 1: Put your tree in your chosen habitat. make sure its upright and steady, either in a pot or on your sexy new piece of MDF just waiting 4 an oppurtunity 2 flaunt his or her new look.
Step 2: Your tree is probably lookin a bit bare & his mates are laughing at him coz he needs somthing 2 cover his modesty- and wot better 2 use than twinkling fairy lights! once you've untangled them, get an adult 2 help you wrap them around the tree- if your under 9, i don't mind you not having an adult 2 help coz i don't object 2 accidental electrocution of small children.
Step 3: Ok, now you can start making your tree wear things you wouldnt be seen dead in yourself. hang the baubles evenly dispersed including the back and bottom branches 2 prevent your tree from falling over becoz the weight isn't evenly spread- we don't want any "TIMBERRRRR!!!" moments or impromptu indoor firework displays, ta very much.
Step 5: Now that your tree is wearing an outfit Lily Savage would blush at you can pat yourself on the back, rest assured of a job well done...but wait! there's somthin missing... ah, thats it! choose between a star or an angel 2 whack on top of the tree as a finishing touch. if you cant find either, i grant permission of the use of the nearest obnoxious younger cousin who will then grow up with a complex, particularly if they are male.
Step 6: And so, your tree is finis! now you can sit back and relax after xmas dinner while children cry at your feet coz grandad stood on a toy, nan says "this is my last christmas and you've RUINED IT!!" for the 5th year in succession, mum has a nervous break down becoz of the amount of washing up there is, dad gets taken 2 A+E becoz of an unsuccessful attempt at using your older cousins pogo stick he had off santa, while 'rockin around the christmas tree' drones in the background.
Step 4: just some more ideas of wot 2 hang on your tree- doesn't have 2 be just baubles, as shown here, there's an angel, a luvly dangly beady...thing, bows, tinsel- be imaginative!
NOTE: i don't mind you using your annoying younger sibling as a decoration 2 hang on the tree as a form of humane capital punishment.
Idea 3: How to wish Santa a VERY happy christmas!
4 this make u will need:
one pervy looking santa- real or fake, ur choice
some strategic looking sweets
an open mind (i HATE these cross gag words- i got a choice of 2, so il put them both)- tho maybe a dirty 1 would be more apropriate! or maybe rather than an open mind, how does open legs sound?
Step 3: Lye santa out flat on his back then carefully insert ur chosen sweet into his trousers in an appropriate location. u should be able to fit atleast 2 fingers between santas trousers and his body...hmm...this could get messy.
Step 1: place ur santa on a flat surface in a room where u can hear if anyones coming (pun not intended). he should be about 30cm tall maximum in order 4 this make to work. if u chose the real santa this shouldnt be a problem coz how else does he get down ur chimmney? ive never understood christmas- santa goes around spendin a complete bomb on xmas shoppin n wot duz he get in return? a wander around ur house, eattin all ur food n booze while learing and little kiddys in bed?! ellie and i thought this unjust so thats where the idea for this make came from. honest.
Step 2: take ur strategic looking sweets & dump them out on the carpet. eat them. make sure u leave 1 behind 4 santa. these sweets can be anything- jelly beans, cola bottles & banana sweets are probably the best. we, however, used jelly babies becoz as u can see, our santa is a particularly learsome looking fellow. actually, he looks like the demon headmaster incognito!
Step 6: TAdaaaa! ur santa is now officially a dirty old man! if u want to make the sketch look more offensive, pick out one of santas more attractive, tempresslike employeez & stand it facing away from him so he can lear at his or her (nothing wrong with santa being gay- tho mrs christmas wouldnt be too happy) strutting round that sleigh. well it beats the photocopier! as 4 santa? well...
Step 5: Stand Santa up. done? Ok, so next u need someone with a steady hand (preferably not santa 4 obvious reasons)to manouver one of santas grubby hands into his trousers. if this isnt possible, pull one of santas sleeves downs over his hand and tuck that into the trousers just like we did- ellie woz ingenius at this bit, it didnt even occur to me that u could do that! she coughs up ideas while i dream up a commentry & be my own photographer.
Step 4: Next, santa gets his jingle bell! rotate the strategic sweet to an angle of 90 degrees so it is pointing at the cieling. care must be taken when handling the sweet- dont want to squash it or santa will be impotent. theres life in the old boy yet u know!
"I LOVE IT!"
Pun fest '07
"i give this make 10/10 because now i can get my very own ho ho ho 4 sexmas- erm, xmas! ive pulled more ladies than the reindeer have pulled sleighs within days of my makeover! one of my elvs is even quoted as saying 'Santas new look? he can push down my chimney any day of the week!' when i go drinking- always coca cola- the fairies faces go redder than rudolphs nose which is rather flattering. i need a stocking to prevent lots of mini santas being spawned because ive been so busy- they don't call me jingle balls for nothing!"
